I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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