so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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