Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Everclear isn't food dammit
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
