Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
