I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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