I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
