At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
