Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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