i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
