I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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