whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
