if i died would you start the facebook group?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
