Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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