Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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