i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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