Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
