I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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