...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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