when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So much rum. So many feels.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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