Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
