I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
