oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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