dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
