I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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