: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
kristin has been a bad kristin
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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