Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's official drugs can't kill me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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