You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
