Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
