i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just had sex bonerless
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
