it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
