so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I take back everything I said about communal showers
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
