i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
