Got a toothbrush?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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