Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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