mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
