Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
