they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Boobs speak an international language.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
