Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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