apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
