Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
