I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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