But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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