Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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