Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
