Fuck appropriateness.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
