That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
