I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
