Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
