'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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