Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize