I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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