dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
