Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
